


The Hargreeves Go Grocery Shopping

by fivesmargarita



Series: Hargreeves Domesticity [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Domestic, Grocery Shopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:14:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26260978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fivesmargarita/pseuds/fivesmargarita
Summary: After returning from the 1960s, the siblings go grocery shopping.
Series: Hargreeves Domesticity [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2104167
Comments: 3
Kudos: 98





	The Hargreeves Go Grocery Shopping

**Author's Note:**

> Please ignore two main parts of canon.  
> 1\. Ben Hargreeves is still stuck with Klaus  
> 2\. The Sparrow Academy doesn't exist.

“Just the essentials, okay? I want to get in and get out.” Allison huffed as she put her handbag down in the baby seat of her carriage, her siblings behind her. They were all exhausted, and absolutely needed food. She pushed forward beyond the automatic doors into the produce section, the air conditioning chilling all the Hargreeves to the bone. The harsh lights illuminated a bountiful array of fruits and vegetables in a grand rainbow of colors. She directed the cart to an end cap almost overflowing with apples. As Allison carefully selected a few to her liking, the rest of her siblings fanned out across the bounteous display. 

Vanya found herself standing in front of the organic vegetable section. Radishes, carrots, lettuce, and spinach, all slightly dripping from their periodic misting. She half-heartedly picked up a radish, and inspected it, not sure of what she was actually looking for. It didn’t look like it was actively rotting. But what could she use a radish for? She could pickle them. Those were always good. She carefully tore a plastic bag off of the roll above her head, stepping on her tippy toes to reach. With a brief but loud shake, the bag stopped clinging to itself, and she placed her radish carefully inside it. She turned on her heel, and walked headfirst into Diego, who was looking rather contemplative over a tomato. 

With quick apologies, Diego turned back to his tomato. Tomatoes are considered an essential, right? Besides, his siblings are bound to purchase things in this store that Allison would absolutely not deem essential. Why shouldn’t he do the same? What would he do with a tomato, though. He didn’t really know how to cook well anyway. He left the tomato in the display and shifted his gaze up, and surveyed the rest of the produce section. 

Allison had moved over to examining the bags of Idaho potatoes. Vanya was by her side, pointing out the best looking ones. Klaus was looking at an aloe leaf, lining it up as if to check for a curve. He was mumbling, possibly to himself, or possibly to Ben. Diego never knew. Five had preoccupied himself with citrus, picking up limes by the handful. Luther was nowhere in sight. Figures. 

A short, piercing “Ow” brought Diego’s gaze back to Klaus, who had dropped the aloe leaf and was shaking his hand violently.

“I told you! You were holding the plant by the pointy bits, Klaus. There was no way you were not gonna stab yourself,” Ben chided, amused at his overdramatic brother once again not taking his advice.

“Yeah, yeah, I don’t need a recap, Ben.” Klaus stopped shaking his hand and carefully picked the aloe leaf up off the tile, placing it gently back on its display. He turned and walked towards Allison, trying to distance himself from the slightly damaged aloe leaf. 

Luther came from around the corner just as Allison had finished her produce shopping, and Five was coming over to the cart.

“Five, are limes really essential? And why do you need over 20 of them?” Allison interrogated her brother as he dumped an armful of limes into the carriage.

“For margaritas.”  
“Why can’t you just get margarita mix? Or lime juice?”

“It’s not the same, Allison,” Five spoke with a steely voice as he moved the bag of potatoes to act as a barrier between his lime haul and the rest of the carriage. 

“Five, watch out,” Five quickly moved out of the way as Luther dropped 10 plastic bakery containers into the cart, effectively destroying any of Five’s organizational methods. Diego took a quick inventory of everything Luther had just poured into the cart. 

“Now hold on, Allison, I thought we were just buying essentials! How come Luther gets to buy 6 dozen cookies and like 5 pies? I can’t even get a frigging tomato!” 

“Literally who said you can’t get a tomato?” Luther leaned over the side of the cart, getting directly in Diego’s face.

“Allison! She said essentials only!” Diego gestured to his sister, who was furrowing her brow at the thought of her brothers brawling in the middle of a grocery store. The thought was enough to adjust her original plan of “just the essentials.” Now it was to leave the grocery store with all her siblings intact, and without any of them being charged with felonies.

“Diego, get your damn tomato. Everyone’s paying for their own stuff okay? Let’s just make this quick, please.” Allison drove between Luther and Diego, Vanya, Klaus, and Five following behind her. Diego and Luther stared each other down for a few moments, thinking about continuing the argument. Luther caved in with a sigh, and lumbered after his siblings. Diego looked to the closest display. Individually wrapped artichokes. He grabbed one out of spite, hoping that someone in the group would know how to prepare it. The tomato was too far away, anyway. 

As they rolled into the bakery section, the siblings eyeed the incredible variety of sweet treats. As Allison glanced over a small supply of chocolate chip cookies, and started to mull over getting a small container for herself, Luther appeared beside her.

“You know, I got all of those baked goods for everyone to share, right?” 

“Oh, Luther, you don’t have to. I can pay for my own things.”

“No, it’s really okay. I kind’ve wanted to just, you know, relax, stay in, have a nice family dinner sometime. No pressure to save the world this week, right? I figured I could provide dessert, and everyone could cook something. It could be like a potluck type deal, you know?” 

“Luther, that actually sounds wonderful.” Allison set down the chocolate chip cookies, ready to set a course to the deli section. “When were you thinking?”

“Uh, really any night this week actually. Tonight might work best, honestly.”  
“Actually, yeah, that also works for me. Let’s run it by everyone else to see if they’re on board.”

“What are you running by whom?” Vanya and Five approached the cart, empty handed. 

“Uh, I was thinking about us all having dinner together tonight. I’m buying dessert for everyone, and I guess everyone can make or buy something. If you’re not busy or anything. 

“Yeah, sure. I mean, I’m not doing anything really. That kinda sounds fun.” Vanya perked up a little bit. Her original plans for the night were to go to bed in her cold apartment, and try desperately not to think about Sissy. Literally anything would’ve been better. 

“I’m pretty sure I’m going to be stuck at the Academy for tonight anyway. I don’t have anywhere to go. I’d be down.” Five meekly smiled, thinking more about how the hell he was going to find a place to live while looking like a twelve year old than about that night’s dinner party. 

“Great. Diego, you in on this?” The siblings looked towards Diego, expecting an answer. He was too busy trying to read the small label on the artichoke to notice. 

“Diego? Can you make it tonight?” Luther prodded again.

“Uh, yeah. Sounds like a plan.” Diego gave up trying to glean any instructions from the label and awkwardly balanced his artichoke between two boxes of cookies in the carriage. 

“Awesome. What about Klaus. Klaus?” Allison called, but Klaus was nowhere in sight. The group looked around from their vantage point, and collectively decided that they would probably find him later, or never again. With a renewed excitement, they split off to go prepare for that evening’s festivities. 

Klaus had found himself in the beer and wine aisle on the other side of the store. He let his fingers trace the bottles of red wine on the shelf, reading the labels. 

“You know this is a bad idea.” Ben was back to giving advice, sitting on the tiles behind his brother.

“You’re right… Oh you’re so right, Ben. What was I thinking!” Klaus wheeled around to look directly at Ben. “The red stuff will give me a terrible headache. I should stick to white!”

“That’s not what I meant, Klaus.”

“Or maybe I should just go find the young man who greeted us at the front of the store, high off his ass! Maybe he’ll have something better than cheap pinot grigio.”  
“You know what I mean. I know you’re still hurting from Dave but you have to get a grip. Do you want to go back to how you were living?”

“You know what? I’m having a bad day! Okay? A bad day. Am I allowed to have a bad day? I’m glad to be back here, with my family, and no, I don’t want to be out on the street. I don’t want to go back to rehab. Just let me get my wine, Ben, without any frigging side comments, okay?”  
Klaus wheeled back around, selecting 5 bottles of white wine from the bottom shelf. Holding the necks of the bottle between his fingers, he rose from his crouching position and walked out of the aisle, the bottles clinking with each step.

Vanya was staring at boxes of penne on an endcap. Pasta was always a safe option for a dinner party. Relatively easy to make too. She could doctor it up, add chicken and alfredo sauce. That wasn’t a bad idea. She grabbed two boxes of pasta, and started to make her way towards the alfredo sauce.

“Vanya! Sis!” Klaus called out from behind her. “Where’s the cart?”

“Uh, I don’t know. I was just going to head to the front of the store, if you want to walk with me.”

“Sure, sure.” Klaus slowed his pace as he met his sister.

“You know, we were all just looking for you. We’re all going back to the academy tonight, and make dinner together, if you want to join us.” Vanya offered meekly. “I’m making pasta, Luther bought the desserts. I don’t know what everyone else is making.”

“Uh, yeah. That sounds nice.” Klaus nodded. “I guess I’ll bring the drinks.”

“You might need to beat Five for that honor. Did you see how many limes he bought?” Vanya joked.

“Fair enough.”

The two meandered down the aisle in silence, waiting for the crowd to thin. Finally, they reached the pasta sauces.

The pair stood facing the countless jars. Vanya was analysing how many to get when Klaus broke the silence.

“I’m sorry about Sissy.”

Since coming back to 2019 earlier that day, both had yet to acknowledge who they left behind. A wave of pain washed over Vanya, as if she had just been hit in the chest. She didn’t think she was capable of loving someone that much. To lose that love was so much more painful than she could’ve ever thought.

“Thank you,” She mustered. “I’m sorry about Dave.”

“Thanks.” 

A quiet pause. The Hargreeves were never good with emotion. Vanya sighed as she stepped ahead to pick out her alfredo sauce. Klaus stared into open space in front of him, a certain intensity behind his eyes, fighting the urge to just unscrew a bottle of wine right there in aisle 5. Vanya turned around, struggling to hold the pasta and the jars of sauce. She caught Klaus’s eyes. With a small, silent agreement between them, to save this discussion for another time, they turned to head out of the aisle. 

“Five. Five!” Diego called from the top of the coffee aisle. Five was on his toes, trying to reach the top of the shelf. Jogging down the aisle, Diego went to go aid his brother in his quest for the dark roast. 

“Thanks Diego. But I didn’t need your help. I could’ve gotten it eventually.” Five straightened his jacket, reluctantly taking the coffee grounds from his much taller brother. 

“What, were you gonna teleport to the top shelf, grab the bag you wanted, and teleport back down, probably scarring everyone in this aisle who saw you?”

“Yes, it would’ve been efficient and it would’ve scarred absolutely no one. There’s no one in this aisle but us, dumbass.” Five rolled his eyes and started walking past Diego.

“Wait, Five, what are you making tonight? For the dinner thing?”

“Steak of some kind.” Five kept walking, his brother trying to catch up behind him.

“Do you know how to make an artichoke?” 

Five paused. He turned to look at Diego, with an incredulous look on his face. 

“Why would I know how to make an artichoke? Ask Allison or somebody.”

“Well, you know how to make steak.”

“Google it or something, Diego.” Five pressed forward towards the meat and seafood section. 

Five picked out a few styrofoam platters of flank steak, stacking the coffee grounds on top. Diego stood back and watched. At the other end of the store, by the milk and dairy, he spotted Allison and Luther picking out a gallon of milk, balancing it on top of an already full cart.

“Five, let’s go, there they are.” Diego gestured towards the group, now with Klaus and Vanya trying desperately to fit their things on the rack under the main carriage.  
The brothers started moving towards the carriage. Five was clutching his items, afraid of dropping them.

“I can carry something if you need-”

“I got this, Diego.” Five cut him off, exasperated. The coffee grounds had started to slip off the top.

“You know, Five. It’s not the end of the world anymore. You don’t have to save everyone by yourself. Let me grab something for you.” Diego took the coffee grounds off the top of the pile, rescuing them from peril. Five looked displeased. He loved being in control, even over something as minor as carrying his own items. 

‘Thanks, Diego,” Five huffed as the two walked to their siblings, who were trying to engineer a way to fit all of Klaus’s wine in the cart without them rolling off. 

“Hey, Diego, Five, can you come help us?” Allison smiled as she saw the two brothers approach the cart. “Five, maybe you can stack your steak up in front of the wine, so that they won’t roll out and crack.”

The siblings gathered around the cart, loudly trying to reorganize the cart, pushing pastry boxes to one side, stacking the wine in between bags of fruits and vegetables. Diego’s artichoke was placed next to Allison’s purse. Vanya’s pasta got moved to the rack under the carriage. Within two minutes, the crew had fit everything in the carriage, carefully placed together like tetris blocks. Allison started pushing the cart to the checkout line. 

“Wait!” Klaus shouted, stopping everyone in their tracks.

“Uh, Ben says we should get some potato chips. You know, in case we need them.” Klaus gave the group a goofy grin.

“Oh shut up, you asshole.” Ben rolled his eyes beside Klaus. “I did not say that. Stop using me to get what you want.”

“Fine, go run and grab your chips, Klaus. We’ll meet you in the checkout line.” Allison turned back and started pushing forward, her and her siblings quietly but excitedly mumbling about that evening’s upcoming festivities. 

“What’s this song called?” Vanya asked, her shoulders bouncing awkwardly as she danced in place.

The group paused their chit-chat for a moment to listen to the song. Diego and Allison started bobbing their heads to the beat.  
“It’s Keep Your Hands to Yourself,” Luther said, half sure. “By the Georgia Satellites, right?”

“Yeah, I think that’s it,” Diego assured his brother, starting to get more into the song himself. His movements were more robotic in nature than Vanya’s, but somehow more natural. Slowly, the siblings all started to dance in line, softly humming the words. Even Five was half heartedly mumbling the chorus while thumbing through the Time magazine in the display rack. 

Klaus danced over to his siblings in line. He cradled a bag of potato chips in each arm.  
“My honey, my baby, don’t put my love upon no shelf,” He sang, a great smile on his face as he gracefully balanced the chips on top of the cart.

“She said don’t hand me no lines, and keep your hands to yourself!” Luther responded, with a flourishing gesture that knocked over a small refrigerator at the beginning of the check out lane. The siblings burst into laughter, as a slightly embarrassed Luther carefully put it back into place. 

“Next!” The cashier shouted, looking slightly annoyed at the rowdy group. All the siblings helped put items up from the cart, trying hard to suppress an even louder giggle fit. 

“Young man, did you get a free cookie from the bakery section today?” The cashier addressed Five as he placed some of the dessert containers on the conveyor belt. 

Five glowered at the cashier.

“Um, actually, they were all out.” Allison swooped in beside her brother, with a beautiful kilowatt smile to kill the tension.

“Well, maybe if you ask your mom nicely, you can have one of those cookies at home!” The cashier pointed to the box of chocolate chip cookies, smiling as she scanned them.

“My wha-” Five started to ask, getting angry.

“Five, leave it alone, just walk to the end of the aisle and help put bags in the cart.” Allison pushed her brother to the bagging station. 

Five and the rest of the siblings eventually migrated towards the bagging area, trying to put the bags back in the cart without getting into each other’s way. Allison paid, making sure to keep the receipt so her siblings could pay her back. Eventually, of course. For now, she was just looking forward to a night in with her siblings.


End file.
